Stuff Journalists Like #85 Abbrvtns

 Copy editors are a peculiar group of journalists. They
don’t seek get the attention writers get. They do their work
behind the scenes and usually right next to the newsroom’s bathrooms. And while
they are responsible mainly for making sure it appears writers have a
decent handle of the English language and deciding what stories go where, copy
editors have one talent that stands out – creating abbreviations for the
paper. 

Newspapers need abbreviations because mostly
readers and journalists alike dismiss most words with more than three
syllables and the fact that newspapers have an disappearing ever-shrinking
newshole.

While there have been scores of celebrated
abbreviations concocted in copy editors’ bullpens, recent ones that have shined
include Octomom and Blago. But the one that takes the stale cake is
Gitmo. 

When the genius that came up with Gitmo (an
abbreviation for for the very wordy Guantanamo Bay detention camp) editors,
page designers and paper boys celebrated, throwing their hands in the air and
slapping each other’s asses. No longer will  headlines about Guantanamo
have to carry a flaccid 25-point font but instead will have a very erect
54-point font. In fact, there is still cheap wine left over from that
party. 

Also, most people don’t realize but copy editors are
also the culprits behind celebrity couple names like Bennifer, Brangelina and
the always popular Filliam H. Muffman*.

*
Might have been created by the staff of The Colbert Report. Also, not a real newspaper
clipping above. Created at  http://www.fodey.com/generators/newspaper/snippet.asp

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