Journalists are known for a lot of things. They are
astute defenders of the First Amendment. They work long hours, deal daily with
murders, scandals and pie-eating contests. And given their appearance, most are
known for not own a working iron. But one thing journalists are not known for
is being good athletes.
Sure some newsrooms have softball teams but they are
usually comprised of the sports writers and editors and that 19-year-old sports
intern who inconspicuously can throw a wicked 85-miles-per-hour fastball.
So when pasty, out-of-shape journalists who need to use
an inhaler when picking up arrest reports feel the need to be competitive– the
game of choice usually involves a board.
Journalists like board games – specifically Scrabble
and Trivial Pursuit.
Scrabble massages journalists’ vocab egos and allows the wordsmiths of the
newsroom to indulge in their grammar fetish off hours while
Trivia Pursuit proves that summer learning East European art history was
not a waste – despite what parents and boyfriends think.
On Friday nights while other professionals are hosting
wine and dinner parties, journalists can be found gathered around a coffee
table that was found in the alley, taking shots of cheap vodka out of a Yahtzee
cup and playing a board game.
And unlike a casual game at a friend’s house or with
family, journalists are rather ruthless when they are playing competing
in board games. Friendships have been lost and relationships have ended – all
over someone challenging a journalist’s word on a Scrabble board. Yes, whilom
is a word – punk ass!
And as if all nighters of Scrabble marathons
were not enough, a recent new trend has given journalists to play Scrabble
while at work, on the john and mid-coitus – Words with Friends. TheiPhone Scrabble-knockoff app now gives
journalists the opportunity to indulge in their Scrabble addiction 24/7. That’s
like allowing meth addicts to shoot up while at work (and like meth – Words
with Friends has been known to keep journalists up at all hours of the night
and make them twitch nonstop and peel the skin off their faces).
Between and during calls journalists are figuring out
how to play that Z tile on that TL. The obsession is so great that it’s
affecting journalists’ ability to do journalism. It’s just another way
journalists #PartyLikeAJournalist.
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Great post. I love Scrabble. Just a heads up, though, it’s called Trivial Pursuit.
Doesn’t the word “massage” need to agree with the subject “Scrabble,” so it would be “massages”? “Allow” similarly becomes “allows.” I’m not even a journalist but this matters as much as a Z on a TL square to me.
“But one thing journalists are not know for is being good athletes.”
“know” should be “known”
Now, why am I am Journalist who doesn’t like to play Scrabble? Hmmm
You ever seen a 30 Seconds tournament between journos? Vicious.